Dad- my strength!

wen u knw der is no door left open......

he is d one who gives me d strenght

to push open all d doors!!!

wen i knw der is no hope left......

he is d one to who inspires me

to believe in my ownself!!!!

wenever i feel lonely.......

he is d one who understands me

n cheers me up!!!!

coz god gifted me a person

who is other name for "faith" to me

and he is my father!!!!!!!!

LUV U DAD!!!!

Reminiscence.... :)

Its been such a long time that i haven't posted anything. My final exams are going on and from past 1 month i was busy in submissions, presentations, reports, module completion and th list goes on. Right now my preparatory leave is going on. Unlike others i don't study during PL, rather i always go home to refresh myself for the coming up war. As usual, tragedy never forgets to accompany me and here I am spoiling my Pl in hostel with my roommates and the same food. Honestly I am bored of both, I am bored of everything related to college life for now. So I am back to my blog, The only ESCAPE from this jail where I can let my imaginary gland explore as much as it wants :)

Standing straight, upright, confident, classy chic office ankle boots, dark blue shinny jeans, baby pink women formal shirt, side puff tiffed with a black clip on open hairs falling on the shoulders perfectly and a silver watch men's style (big dial). One of my friend asked me to think about how I wanna see myself in the next ten years. I took it as a tipsy game at first and replied " I want myself owing three closets full of shoes!! every kind possible". We all started laughing. That same night after I went to bed while I was in my not so sleepy mood, I thought about it again. And wonders! I closed my eyes and saw myself exactly in the way I described in the first line. Not just this, I was in the conference hall, presenting myself and everyone was keen listening to me. I started smiling immediately. I was glowing, there was a level of confidence in my smile in my talk. WOW! isn't that so mesmerizing. And i slept away happily. Next morning I penned it down dated 28 November, 2010.

Today its 14 October,2012, approximately two years from then. I was cleaning my cupoard and I found my old diary. Old memories remind you of how much you have changed, your surrounding have changed. Reading this I started smiling and closed my eyes again. I asked myself again, and I saw myself in the same conference hall in the same outfit with few minor changes. Minor changes like I had applied kajal making my eyes look more confident, pearl earings and  a silver chain around my neck. LOL! just kidding! Being a girl, I can't resist myself :P

People say we change as we grow, but do our dreams change? does our wanna be's change? Do we really change? After this morning, I don't think we change, we go on improvising, but the answer is No We Don't Change! We do a lot of mistakes ending up learning lessons. Lessons which persuade people to improve and never repeat that same mistake but it doesn't change us. You can never change your true self, and if you try to then you move away from yourself. Henceforth making yourself hollow. At some point of time you will start feeling lonely even with your best friends and will eventually give up being depressed.

So if you want to stay alive, stay close to yourself. Even if you have a terrified past stay connected to it, because that is what will make you stronger for the life ahead. Your dreams may change but your aim doesn't. For a change try reminiscing, that would help you a lot to stay attached to yourself and never feel lost. Don't loose yourself, and always keep reviving your old self, so that you keep your dream alive for a future you wish! And never be afraid of improving, afterall "Changes are a part of our lives" ^_^

Express to Sano.......Heal!!!

When you are low, and nothing seems to work as you want it. You feel like the world is going on exactly in the opposite direction than  you want it to be. You  finally give up. Isn't it just so easy to give up?  Surrendering!

What if you don't have a choice? What if there's no other way out? You can't just always sit back and quit!
What if there are no other options left? What if you just have to face it? Just stand straight , head high towards the storm. You know you can't look away and bend down, because you aren't left with an option......

Well to be more specific let me make it clear with an example most of us are prone to....
" Its a cold winter night, you are preparing before going off to sleep. You have your exam the next day! Highly confident and equally scared though you have done the portion of syllabus properly, you just switch off the lights. Your phone beeps, its a message from one of your classmate informing that ther is another chapter for the exam tomorrow."

I don't think any of you will be able to go off to sleep. Those warm blankets will be selfish enough to pull you closer but you have no choice. You can't give up!  You will get back to your books immediately !!!

Another example, exclusively mine!
I generally stop talking to everyone including my sister and my best friends.My existence becomes rare to my everyone including my roomies. I cover up myself. I am on one corner of my bed, snicked to the wall inside my quilt. I don't go near anyone, I don't answer any texts, don't receive any calls including that of my parents. I always cover up my side with the chair and blankets. I like it to be dark, haunted types! I close myself from the rest of the world, also from the sunlight outside. Even a single strand ray of light hurts me. Am so prone to everything at that point of time. And its only me alone lying, just to feel lower than before!!"

And the next thing happens is that I appear like a zombie to my roomies, they are scared somewhat. The lessons to be covered are left. The assignments to be completed are left half done. My friends and family get worried about me(atleast those who care). My blog keeps on missing me and on the other hand I am more depressed due to the darkness as never before. Each of my planning is ruined and finally I regret which leads me into a huge world of grief!

Man!!! locking yourself from the world doesn't work!

You gotta stand and take a deep breath. Start expressing yourself! Start!!! Talk it out with your most trusted friends or your best friend. If they don't listen to you, then just stand in front of the mirror and talk to your own self. And if it still doesn't work!!! Stand under the shower and cry! there is no one to disturb you over there, not even you your ownself, because you can't question yourself for your tears standing under the shower (LOL! that will be hilarious).

And if nothing else works....Write it out! that is what I do, I write and sing to express every kind of emotion. It feels secure as well as am fresh as ever again!

Guys, till the time you don't express yourself and get it out of your system, you will go on torturing your self. I bet, in that little shell you create for yourself just to hide yourself,  makes you more vulnerable to the negativity of world! Express..... Sing...... Write......Talk!!! After all we are human beings, not some kind of secret box where we can hide all our problems!!! Be happy!  And be the white one in dark :)

my sweeto sis!!!!

her 4th birthday!

My sister is super duper mental. She is 5 years elder to me and still seems to be 5 years younger. I have never fel like the younger one at home. Its not like am jealous, but am proud of taking care of her all the time. I am the one who scolds her, points out her mistake, lecture her for hours and the most important is I try to my best to keep her happy. Haha! she is my little cute sister! I am lucky to have her. Sometimes she gets all so furious for me being treated as the elder in the family. LOL! she was such a small bag of cuteness.When ever I sleep beside her I know, I won't be technically sleeping. She goes in anticlockwise direction all over the bed. I can go on and on writing about her.... because afterall i just love her ^_^

HOME.... my version of HEAVEN!

And I’m surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
Oh, let me go home
Oh, I miss you, you know

Let me go home
I’ve had my run
Baby, I’m done
I gotta go home
Let me go home
It will all be all right
I’ll be home tonight
I’m coming back home

These are the last two para's from the song "HOME" by Michael Buble. When I heard this song for the first time I didn't understand the meaning "Home" we can never estimate its value, no one can. When we are home, we don't understand what it means. But after the completion of twelveth and in many others cases tenth, we exactly know what this 4 lettered word means.
                                                              "A place kids feel secure,
                                                          that corner near the television set,
                                                        sofa where you split your milk glass,
                                                      though you never know what it means."

I being an hosteler now know, what it feels to be at home, while on the other hand few years back during my high school, I prayed to get out of the state. I wanted to explore, I wanted to fly alone where mom wouldn't be calling me or dad wont be scolding. Today i regret for all my prayers and wanna get back to that secure heaven where my parents will be always there to guide me even with the smallest thing ever. Not only this i want my life to be simple without any tension. Am not trying to run away from the work load. But i guess when you get back from classes there is mom just to ask you how was your day, makes your life simpler.

It doesn't matter, how many friends you have, or how much you want to be with your boyfriend or girlfriend? I bet you can't ever get a safer sleep and dream happily on beloved arms,  because still you will be tensed about aomething or the other related to your beloved. But when it comes to home, all you need is a calm atmosphere and you will have the most relaxing sound sleep! That is what home does to you..... You will go on feeling lonely in a group of 50 if you dont have a home. Being alone is the worst realisation which kills you daily.

                                                                    'Lonely on my bed,

I sit with my half filled coffee mug,

 laughing and giggling with my friends, 

cracking jokes on each other,

The weather outside is ravishing, 

the light goes off,

its raining and we shout,

we tease each other, scaring,

Suddenly you realise,

in the club of 8,

you know none, 

whom do you trust?

Is is it storm outside with the light flashes,

or is it the friend just beside you,

is it the coffee mug that is still hot,

or is it the room which is not your home......

You are alone

When you know

Its not your home'

Home, is the place where you can sleep without any responsibilities. Home is the place where what ever happpens you know are not alone. And home is the place where even if you fall down suddenly, your addrenaline doesn't strikes off...........

"Ghar yaad aata hai mujhe" from the episodes of Satyamev Jayate, anyone like me can relate to it. Not only anyone like me, but everyone can. Even a man living with his wife and children misses his real home. Home where you live with your parents and your siblings. We fight, quarrel and scream. But that it what it takes to make that small designed collection of bricks to be called as "home".

"people fear god , coz no one wants to end up in hell

they worship almighty, coz everyone wants to die peacefully

some sacrifice all their happiness, to find the greatest of the all

And all these just for the sake of heaven!!!

I have a little advice, 

"go back home, head on your mother's lap and go off to sleep"

I don't think you need to fear, sacrifice or give away anything.......

because you already are in heaven! :)"

                                                               

First successful college event! :D

"A good teacher takes a hand, opens up the mind and touches the heart. Good morning to one and all present here" Yes! this is exactly I how began with the teacher's day celebration today. One of my friend had  accompanied me for the sanskrit sloke. Everything seemed to glitter in front of me. It wasn't my first time on stage, I used to enact for english plays during school days. I also anchored for the class assembly. But this was my first attempt in college, that too with the opening.

Being equally nervous and shaky I tried my level best to hold on. Either I got confident or maybe I got so excited when I saw my fav teacher give a wide smile. And everything was CHO MANTAR. And that was it, we had the best teacher's day ever possible in our pharma wing. All our teaching and non teaching staff were being felicitated. Ahh!! I just forgot to write about the games. First one was from the 2nd year's batch, and the second one was from the first year's batch. I swear they just nailed it. 

As said "anth bhala toh sab bhala", me and my other 7 co- organisers rocked it. Lat but not the least I also mentioned "we would like more support and appreciation from our batch mates and the seniors". That did really hurt me, none of the seniors contributed or the program, didn't even attend. I guess some people only know how to pull others backwards while they themselves don't progress either. Same goes with few of our classmates. I wish everyone who tried their best to create problems read this" Guys, go on give your best shot at spoiling everything, and we will keep on learning how to deal with thorns to                                                                        reach the roses":)

Morning Sunlight!!!:) Its a wonder.......

It feels beautiful when the rays of the sun touches me. The warm feel when the sun light falls on me dazzling on my skin. Ahh!! I love mornings! :)

Rather I would say I love feeling the morning sunlight on me standing right in front of my window gazing at the sun. It is so mesmerizing. The orange yellow round figure winking at me is so cute. I would have gobbled it up if it was near me. I don't understand how can the present youth miss the beauty of it by sleeping in the morning rather than enjoying it. When I see my colleagues sleeping till late in the morning I wonder how can someone miss this. Maybe they never got a chance to see this ravishing beauty or else no one could have been sleeping. 

Wake up in the morning and go for jogging, not only you will feel fresh but also energetic. The closed walls of gym cannot do the same magic to your body as the open air does. It keeps you healthy, keeps you fit and the most important thing it never allows you to be lazy. Morning sunlight makes sure your whole day becomes as joyful and interesting as it is. So guys go out for a walk or jogging around on the roads or in the nearby park. And embrace the magic yourself:)

Dance high on the Reunion!!!

Unfortunately I got ATKT and I had to return back for the re-exam on 24th June. My exam was on 28th June. This time I planned out everything so that I could attend the class re-union party. Since I missed out the last two, my friends were really angry on me. So this time I promised my friends to be their. It was scheduled on 27th. Again they all will be upset with me. I had no choice but to return back to my college campus. I knew everyone would again think that its another of my excuses. So I didnt inform anyone before returning back.

As I completed my paper, the thought of calling everyone popped up. I immediately grabbed my phone to call my friends and I stopped. I knew they won't be picking up so I let it go. Again i made them sad. I broke my promise. With teary eyes i logged on my facebook account to check out the latest updates. I have lost count on them from the time I came back. There was a message on the official page of the reunion. "Party re-scheduled to 29th evening 7pm, do attend!" Woah! Now thats what I call a miracle.So this is what happens when you really wanna do something from your heart. God helps them who helps themselves. So here it was. I immediately packed and got back to the bus station for the next bus. 

After 3 hours of crazy dancing we were hungry!!!

My next session was going to start on 2nd july, but i don't care. I know exactly what I wanted at that particular instant. It was not to break my promise and make my friends smile. Yes I did sttend the re-union with some awesome crazy dancing. head bangs and the yummy chinese food!!!! And yeah not to forget the ICE CREAM! Gosh I was so happy to see everyone. Its so good to get back with the people with whom you have grown. You grew with them, all the old memories and the promises to be together till the end were relived. All I could conclude from that day was we were happy to get back to each other, and those who missed it "GUYS! YOU CHEATERS!!! ANOTHER EXCUSE:P"

Journey from un-named to get into pharmacy!

Ever felt the urge to be everything? I wanted to be a architect,miss India, miss world, miss universe, dancer, singer, scientist, research holder, doctor, anchor, comedian, talker and many more. But these all were the things that i wanted to be when i was a kid. The kid phase in my life was when my first priority was my cycle and water bottle. The only thing I never wanted to be was an artist, a painter, a sketcher or anything related to the various forms of arts and crafts. I am horrible at it. As soon as I start drawing I give up. Not because I can't draw. Its because its the only thing in which my awesome patience levels never works according to my expectations.

Still I kept trying untill one day my sister asked me not to torture the drawing sheet anymore. Realizing that I suck, I gave it up completely. Then came my adolscence phase. The phase when i started reading books, watch movies and serials. The phase which made me realize that even i i have gland which secrete feelings. Watching movies or serials, or reading books with the tint of feelings made me react accordingly. I started to smile, cry, get angry, blush and enjoy all the other emotions. I stopped doing everything like reading books or watching serials and movies in front of anyone.

I wanted to be a writer, journalist, actor, and still a doctor. All I wanted to be was somewhat famous. But nothing worked out. Finally i tried to go on for the profession which everyone loved in my family. I also adored it from my childhood. It was being a doctor. Deciding to get into this profession also meant i can leave maths for ever. I didn't opt for math in my +2 level. But I never wanted to get into the serving purpose. Afterall a profession should also let you earn without getting into anything wrong or illegal. Still I always wanted to go further for research studies in medicines. Inventing new medicines and curing people. Or working out on new projects on genetics and microbiology. All these things fascinated me.

Though I thought of getting into every possible profession that came into my mind, i choose it out of all the wealthy ones. As we all know how much one studies after he or she gets into an posh school. Same way I too started taking things lightly and finally lost my grip over what I wanted to be. All my medical entrance exams didnt fetch my hopes more than being in the waiting list. Then one fine morning asked whether i would like to join the pharmaceutical line or not. The field which deals with every research related to the medical and chemistry line. First of all I wan determined only to go for what I have always aspired to be. But gradually it changed into a frustration of reaching till the waiting list and i said a yes for it. My father got me into pharma manegerial field ie "B.Pharm+MBA" integrated five year course. Though I was frustrated at first, now I somewhat like it. I always wanted to get into research and also I wanted to get into a manegerial line. So here I land up in the perfect thing which remained un-named and un noticed to me all thses years.

Now I exactly know what I wanna be and what I aim for. Thanks dad for understanding me more than myself and getting me on my perfect dream world. It took sometime for me to realise that what you  got me into was what I always wanted to get into. But now I am gonna make it work to the best I can.

She's cho cute!!!:)

Everyday its the same routine. Go to college and walk back on the same path. me and my roommates walk back tired and totally frustrated. We are habituated. Now we can walk even with closed eyes because we exactly know the number of turns and steps on the way. As usual today also we were walking back tired when we noticed a cute little thing which brought back lives into us.

It was the cute little baby girl on the hand made swing. Her brother was playing with her and she was smiling...Awww!!! Her smile, that is the perfect thing we all needed at that time to make us jolly. Her parents works as laborers in the construction area nearby. She made me smile when I needed it the most. And she needed nothing to make me smile, to make me laugh. Ohh man!!! i could have gobled her up......:) Seriously am gonna make sure till her parents work here we the students do something for such kids. But for now Oh My God!!!! She's cho cute!!!!!

Love isn't made for everyone......

Love-a feeling of strong personal attachment or an emotion full of kindness, compassion and affection. It is all about commitment, hope, care, understanding and the most important thing we happily do it all. I believe-"Once in love, forever in love". Love makes you sacrifice happily, but is it worth it?

Being at the end of my teenage, I have come across of all the nearby forms of falling into this feeling. Attractions, crushes, the so called serious crush, and finally i fell for someone deeply. He also started liking me. We got to know each other more prominently. Things started improving between us and the world seemed like a beautiful rainbow. And you can guess the history....

Ah! Wait a second, i was kidding! I wanna make a stand on the fact that What happens as a history is not same for every other person. What if the other person is using you for emotionally? What if he just needs you to pamper and take care of him. Being flirty sweetly, questioning you on things which he is sure of to make you blush, the little pussy conversations at night on the phone and the silence breaths. I am sure your heart just skipped a beat. The other half of the story is he makes you fall for him, not because he loves you back. Its because he just needs attention.

On the other hand, you are ready to sacrifice it all, may that be your own self-respect, your sleep which finally results in scary dark spots. Such guys will definitely after they get bored or start getting attention from somewhere else. So whats the use in wasting an important phase of your life on them? God has given us girls a wonderful ability known as "The 6th Sense" from which am sure you know exactly when the guy means what. So stop it from the beginning. Either mention it to them specifically or the best way is to ignore. Love is beautiful as well as dreadful.

Many a times its so harmful that it plays with your life and so with your. family. Family members are the once who loves us the most. No one else can beat them on that. Girls, if you start liking someone at first start expecting immediately. I know expectation breaks relations, but if is really love whatever happens you two will still be together. Everyone isn't lucky enough to experience Love. It comes to only few in the full true form, other are just destroyed by the vision of it. I aint against love, but i would like others to be precautious.

So be aware, because this can be injurious to you. As said "prevention is better than cure". I am not against love, its a wonderful feeling, but be aware because all that glitters isnt gold. Start expecting, stay alert and even though you have no time to think about yourself, take a break from it to give yourself some importance. Afterall if the person really fell for you, don't you think you deserve a bit more care??. Don't get stuck into this black hole till you are sure about it.


Because everyone is not lucky enough to experience the full form of love, they just have a vision of it which can turn out to be dark!!!!

Resolutions for Ever New Morning!!!!

Every year ends with more anxiety and curosity. Is't it so with you guys? For me it definitely is. Who knows whats there wrapped in that big box. And you are staring at it with wide bright eyes twinkling. Expectations folded in our arms we try to gather all the courage and get ready for the new bang in our life. So in the process of getting ready we also promise to never ever do the same mistakes that spoil the year ahead.

"A New Year Resolution- a commitment that a person makes to one or more personnel goals, projects, or the reforming of the habit." May that be a habit or continuous repeatation of the same mistake. These new year resolutions are carried out for a few days and as said "Resolutions are made not to be followed". We forget them as soon as we adopt them. So exactly what should be done not to spoil the process of getting ready?

Here it comes, Since every new year deserves a bang on resolutions so does every new start. This is more like a precautious measure we take. Because we all know it gonna break soon. So make it for a short period of time. I know planning always doesn't work but whose asking you to plan up things, its kind of time consuming. So here are some points by which you can get ready for the unveiled, unrevealed and mysterious big box:
1. Make a resolutions as soon as you wake up every new morning, because afterall its a new start.
2. Try your best to follow it so that it remains unbroken till the end of the day.
3.Also strategies on how you have to go about it.
4.Make sure you don't repeat the same mistake in breaking it up every day, or else you will get habituated .

lastly but not the least you wake up early in the morning so that the sounds of the birds chirping, the slow breeze and the calm polite surrounding doesn't hamper your thought process. And offcourse if you are late you wont have the sufficient time to think properly. So with every new morning its a new start. With every new start there always has to be a resolutions for the process of getting ready so that the excitment of knowing what there never fades.